Sex and the City

It was a holy, sacred, and important evening for Yulia and
Kamellia. We’d planned this evening since
long time ago. And when the time came,
we picked a perfect schedule, came earlier to the movie (not like running by
ojek, puffing), had favorite snack, and most importantly, best seat.

For us, it is more than a movie. It’s a commemoration of a tradition.  Inimitably, it is where our major musing comes
from. 

When others talk about its fashion thing or criticize it as
a pipe-dreaming kind of movie, we think beyond that.

It is about relationship, with your girlfriends (sahabat), with
your boyfriend (pacar).

It is about a journey of finding your soulmate, an intricacy
of seeking your happiness, a reflection for not being fake, for being just the
way you are, whether you are crazy to a shoe’s brand or to your carrier, and a
lesson to be honest to yourself.

If we do not understand why men can be so crazy to a soccer
game, Yulia and I do not expect others to understand why we are crazy about
this movie. For some reason, we always think it is only us can understand the
movie well.

While for my self, it was such a fabulous way to spend your
weekend, an effective way to get relaxed. Especially, when you go home after that, and “see” your loved one smile.

June 2008

When You Finally Found Someone

Have you ever asked yourself about finding someone? Do you know the sign? Is he or she with you now or you just keeping
the feeling inside?

Some people choose to forget about falling in love and just
being happy already by having someone with him/her. They say, “Well, at least I
am not alone”. They think love only
happens in the fairytales. I don’t agree
with that. I always want to be with
someone that I am in love with. I
believe, not everyone in this planet can have such a fortunate opportunity to
be in love. I don’t want to be just with
somebody.

What falling-in-love
feels like?

Well, unfortunately you will not know until you feel it. It
is hard to explain by words.

It is what you called by sweet-surrender (now I know what it
means), and becoming someone new ever since you found him/her (in a nice way). He becomes your inspiration. Both of you motivate your positive sides. Everything just feels right. You feel peaceful and can be just the way you
are. You see him in your eyes although
he’s not at front of you. The conversation flows honestly and nothing to hide
or pretend. Nothing to complain about. Most importantly, you do not think about
someone else.

Hard to believe?

That’s why I said it is such a rare opportunity. Example? Well, look around. You’ll find one couple, I am sure.

And…

When I finally found someone,

He is such a “schat” for me.

I thought I would never feel this way anymore. But this time is even stronger.

Every moment I spend with him, is the moment I treasure.

However…

Not all of my friends can be easily happy for me.

Some of them are worried if I’ll get hurt again

Some of them just might not ready to see me falling in love this
deep.

I thank them for being worried.

But there is one thing I know for sure.

If I have to hold my self from loving him, someone special
that I’ve been longing for, just because Im worried that he’ll hurt me, I am sure I will regret it for the rest of my
life.

So,

Va Dove Ti Porta Il Cuore

Pergilah kemana hatimu membawamu

I am taking my risk to follow my bliss

And I believe in where my heart is taking me to…

Nothing to worry.

June, 2008

Susu Beracun, penelitian atau pelecehan intelektual?

Menteri
kesehatan, ibu Siti Fadila Supari, seperti kebakaran jenggot saat pagi ini
melakukan interview dengan Tri Jaya FM menyoal hasil penelitian IPB baru-baru
ini mengenai susu. Sebagaimana ramai diberitakan media, IPB melakukan penelitian
mengenai susu produksi lokal yang dikabarkan beracun dan berbahaya untuk
dikonsumsi. Salah satu pendana penelitian adalah dept pendidikan (duh, apa hubungannya
yach) dan pendana dari Jerman.

Orang kampus pasti tahu bahwa ada banyak penelitian kacangan
yang dilakukan dosen demi meningkatkan penghasilan, bahkan di kampus sekaliber
UI. Kampus sendiri sampai pusing untuk
membenahi ”kebiasaan” ini. Penelitian
tidak lagi selalu bertujuan untuk pengembangan ilmu pengetahuan dan kepentingan
orang banyak, namun sebagai ”project” yang mendatangkan penghasilan tambahan walaupun
hasilnya hanya untuk ngendon di lemari arsip. Susah bin sulit bagi para dosen/staf peneliti yang masih idealis supaya
bisa tetap meneliti secara profesional namun juga bisa tetap bertahan
hidup. Para peneliti idealis ini harus
ekstra hati-hati menerima tawaran penelitian, sebab penelitian dengan dinas
pemda terkenal sarat ”amplop”, lalu penelitian dengan perusahaan dan lembaga
asing, juga sarat maksud-makud tertentu.

Media, kudu melek mata

Melihat kasus penelitian susu IPB, media harus melek mata
agar proses pemberitaan tetap bisa seimbang. Hal ini penting supaya masyarakat gak gampang resah dan kritis dalam
memandang berita.

Adalah hal yang aneh kalau tahu-tahu mereka ingin
meneliti apakah ada bakteri atau tidak dalam susu tersebut. Kenapa, kok pengen meneliti
susu formula? Kalau penelitian ini berpangkal
dari sapi, kenapa tidak penelitian terhadap kesehatan sapi di Indonesia yang
mungkin bisa berujung bakteri di susu dan makanan daging lainnya.

Film Constant Gardener adalah salah satu contoh yang
bisa dipakai untuk melihat kasus dimana kepentingan rakyat kecil di Afrika
dimanfaatkan oleh perusahaan farmasi raksasa dari negara-negara maju. Rakyat dipaksa
untuk membeli obat tersebut, mereka tidak independent, tidak punya hak
memilih fasilitas kesehatan yang mereka inginkan, dan bahkan kondisi mereka jauh dari sehat. Para
peneliti (yang idealis bukan yang ”demi uang”) yang membongkar kasus ini diburu
dan dibunuh.

Jangan sampai,
penelitian susu ini adalah kedok pihak-pihak tertentu untuk memasukkan susu
buatan pabrik mereka. Tugas pemerintah, adalah tetap menjaga persaingan sehat
dan secepatnya mem-back up penelitian IPB dengan penelitian independent pemerintah.  Tantangan bagi media untuk mem-pintarkan masyarakat
dengan terus memberikan informasi yang seimbang sehingga mereka kritis dan
tidak gampang diombang kiri kanan.

Feb 25th, 2008.

Follow Your Bliss

Have you ever asked yourself what you actually want to do? Wondering about your future? Not happy with what you’re doing?  Va Dove Ti Porta Il Cuore, pergilah kemana
hatimu membawamu, follow your bliss.

Interesting story of Anderson Cooper, CNN’s top journalist,
that to become what he is now came from what his mom told him long time
ago: Follow your bliss.   

I have been choosing to do this.  Thinking over and over again to find what I actually want to do.  Because I don’t want to spend times to do something I dont like.  It becomes more important when I realize that we actually spend most of our life for working.  Is it going to be flying away for nothing?  What will it leave to us when we’re old?  Am I going to have time to enjoy life?  There is only one answer:  Find something I actually want to do.  Follow my bliss.

And, coba liat tiga wanita berikut ini:

Kisah tiga wanita ini gue sadur dari oprah.com.  Wanita paling kiri berumur 60 tahun, tapi dia terlihat jauh
lebih muda dari umurnya. Selama 22 tahun
dia melakukan yoga, juga secara teratur mengikuti kelas tari selain kegiatan
membaca dan menulis yang disukainya. Wanita yang ditengah berumur 63 tahun, tapi lagi-lagi seorang ahli
mengatakan umur “sebenarnya” adalah 50tahun. Seorang ahli mengatakan, walaupun ia berumur 60 tahun tapi “sebenarnya”
ia berumur 48 tahun. Ahli ini memberi tips, bahwa dengan sering melakukan
meditasi (kalo yang Islam, bisa melalui sholat), tidur yang cukup, makanan yang
seimbang, dan menyediakan waktu bagi dirinya sendiri untuk melakukan hal yang
disukainya, adalah kegiatan yang dapat memangkas umur. Intinya, mereka melakukan apa yang mereka sukai, they enjoy their life, and try to see life in a positive view.  Atau kata si ahli:  “Finding that passion in your life is hugely
important in staying young”.

Bandingkan dengan wanita yang paling kanan. Ia sering stress, yang membuatnya terbawa gaya hidup tidak sehat seperti merokok dan jarang olah raga.  Umurnya
hanya 44 tahun, tapi ia seperti berumur 60 tahun!! Whoooaa, I dont want to be like that!

                     
Btw,hari gini emang susah siy kalo mau gaya hidup sehat apalagi kalo harus cari pekerjaan yang bener2 kita enjoy.  Tapi, it’s never been too late.  Everything is actually possible when you stay positive.  Take your own time, decide what you want to do, follow
your bliss.

Goodluck

Ayat-Ayat Cinta

Buat
yang udah pernah baca buku Ayat-ayat Cinta, pasti setuju kalo penulisnya jago
banget menguntai ayat-ayat Allah dalam ceritanya, memberikan kesejukan bagi
pembacanya.  I made my self cry when I
read it in 2006. However, buat gue, jalan
ceritanya malah merusak keindahan itu.

Buat
yang belum baca bukunya, cerita ini mengenai mahasiswa Indonesia yang kuliah di Cairo Mesir.  Sifat terpujinya mengantar empat wanita jatuh cinta tergila-gila padanya , tidak perduli ia telah menikah. 

Tiga wanita (yang gagal menjadi istrinya) digambarkan
sebagai wanita-wanita smart, kritis, terpelajar, tegar dan independent.  Sehingga ketika salah satu dari mereka, seorang
wanita keturunan mesir, yang digambarkan sangat pintar dan cantik, mengetahui
bahwa sang idola telah menikah, ia kemudian jatuh sakit parah, koma, dan bahkan menuntut
untuk dinikahkan walau ia telah beristri.  Wanita kedua, keturunan Sudan, yang
diselamatkan hidupnya oleh sang idola, yang digambarkan sebelumnya sebagai wanita sangat tabah
dan berhati lapang setelah ditempa cobaan hidup keluarga yang luar biasa berat,
tega-teganya menjebloskan sang idola ke penjara dengan tuduhan palsu yang
dibuatnya hanya karena cintanya tidak berbalas. Sementara wanita ketiga,
wanita Indonesia anak seorang kyai, menyampaikan perasaan cintanya pada sang
idola walau ia tahu sang idola telah menikah.  Duh, kan bisa disampaikan sebelumnya bukan
siy? Kenapa para mojang itu digambarkan
jadi kehilangan akal sehat (atau bahkan prinsip?) ketika jatuh cinta ya??  Well, that’s not true because woman can think! Dan
ketika perempuan jatuh cinta, gak semua segitunya kalee…

Anyway, gue ngeliat sang idola diciptakan sebagai laki-laki beruntung impian para pria: diperebutkan banyak wanita, dan menikah dengan seorang wanita
bule yang luar biasa cantik, pintar, serta kaya (kaya banget). I am sorry but I have to say this book is so man’s
perspective. I just wish the writer can
just consider women’s point of view when they read this book.

Why God creates Human?

Pernah penasaran gak, kenapa manusia harus diciptakan? Dari sekian banyak disaster yang dibuat
manusia, pertanyaan ini jadi sering banget muncul dalam pikiran gue.

Working on conflict management, has allowed me to see some
of videos on brutal action that can make me sick for days. When I saw it again,
few months ago, about a massive conflict in a remote area in my beloved
country, I –again- fall silent. Sementara
di belahan bumi lain, dalam hitungan detik SAAT INI, mereka yang di Kenya tengah meregang
nyawa.

Tidak cuma saling bunuh atau siksa atas nama agama atau
kelompok tertentu, manusia juga sering “menuai” perbuatan “kejamnya” sendiri
melalu bencana alam. Siapa yang tebang
pohon dan siapa yang kayaraya, sementara di sisi lain: siapa yang rumah nya
harus hancur diterjang air bah bersama balok kayu super besar and berat, dan
siapa yang harus kehilangan keluarga karena tanah longsor dan banjir. Di Jakarta, siapa yang punya mobil gak mau
kalah sama jalur busway, bikin yang udah naek bus himpit2an pegel berdiri sesak
semakin menderita. Saat perang, darah tidak ada artinya, pohon-pohon hanya
dianggap penonton, air dan bumi hanya dianggap sesuatu yang mati yang tidak
bisa bereaksi atas kebiadaban manusia, pilihannya hanya dua: Elo yang mati atau gue yang mati. Sucks, doesn’t it?!

If human-being just disrespect to each other and harm the
world, lalu kenapa manusia diciptakan?  Gue yakin alam gak butuh manusia. Binatang atau tumbuhan, sudah bisa mandiri
sejak lahir. Dan global-warming mungkin
gak perlu terjadi kalo gak ada manusia. Jadi, kenapa manusia harus ada di muka bumi ini?

Buat kamu yang Muslim, tentu tahu bahwa pertanyaan kaya’
gini sudah ada sejak nabi Adam hendak diciptakan. Malaikat yang bertanya pada sang pencipta,
untuk apa menciptakan Manusia jika manusia hanya akan menghancurkan?. Ia menjawab, “Sesungguhnya Aku mengetahui apa
yang kamu tidak ketahui” (2:30).

Dan saat Ia meminta semua makhluk untuk bersujud kepada
manusia (2:34), Iblis bersikeras bahwa manusia tidak layak untuk di hormati
seperti itu. Kasarnya mungkin, untuk apa
gue sujud sama manusia kalo sudah jelas manusia akan bikin kerusakan. Dan untuk itu, di sepanjang hidupnya, iblis
bertekad untuk membuktikan hal tersebut.

Kenyataannya?…. Silakan tanya diri kita masing-masing, whether kita layak diberi
penghormatan kaya’ gitu atau gak.

Buat gue, di sini lah makna kenapa manusia disebut pemimpin,
paling tidak terhadap tanaman hias di rumahnya yang cuma minta disiramin air
tiap hari; atau terhadap kucing di kantin yang cuma minta makan karena lapar
dan bukan untuk di tendang; atau terhadap semua binatang yang rela dimakan/dibunuh
manusia yang cuma minta proses kematian yang cepat dan tidak menyiksa. Dan walaupun alam cukup “bekerjasama” dalam
hal pengolahan sampah, di mana-mana kita bisa liat orang buang sampah se-enak
udelnya.

 
Maka buat gue, makna dari “Tidak KU ciptakan manusia dan jin
kecuali untuk beribadah” (51:56) adalah: bagaimana kita mempertanggungjawabkan
diri kita terhadap mereka yang telah bersedia tunduk sujud kepada kita. I think this is all about religion, to live side by side. I
think this is why we’re here…

Dan tidaklah Kami
ciptakan langit dan bumi dan segala yang ada di antara keduanya dengan
bermain-main (21:16)

Peace, Jan 2008

Ramalan: Nothing or Something?

I was so enthusiastic to meet this fortune-teller. It was my first time actually to meet a
professional fortune-teller. Took around
two hours to answer entire questions: jodoh, karir, kesehatan, and some
pertanyaan iseng :-p. The fortune-teller
promised me a free service if I can bring my other friend to her. So there I was, again for a fortune-telling,
one more time, and then again another one free.

And the result?

Pusiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii……………………….ng!

Too many information in my head, too many anticipation for
something that may not be true.

Particularly, too many UNCERTAINTY.  Life itself is already uncertain. Nothing is certain in this life, including what your
fortune-teller tells you. So, what’s the
point by visiting a fortune-teller?

Peramal membaca kecenderungan jalan cerita hidup kita ke
depan, BERDASARKAN karakter usaha kita selama ini. Jadi, kalau di bilang, elo
bakal susah dapat kerjaan, artinya elo harus merubah strategi usaha elo
mendapatkan kerjaan, usaha lebih keras lagi. Kalau di bilang elo gak berjodoh ma gebetan elo, well, who knows, jodoh,
rezeki, and maut di tangan Tuhan boekan? Siapa tahu aja elo tetep berjodoh
;-). Kalau di bilang elo bakal sakit,
artinya elo harus disiplin jaga kesehatan, makan teratur, jangan lupa serat,
istirahat and olahraga. Kalau di bilang,
elo bakal dapat naik gaji atau something nice, well anggap aja elo akan dapet
reward atas kerja keras elo selama ini. Singkirkan dulu jauh-jauh apa yang peramal bilang ke elo supaya elo bisa
focus ke depan, atau elo bakal tetep pusing.

So, kalau begitu, what’s the point by visiting a
fortune-teller? Well, it is actually nothing! Mungkin mereka bisa bantu elo liat kecenderungan masa depan elo, tapi
untuk apa kalo informasi itu hanya “kemungkinan” yang masih bisa berubah. Dan perubahan itu ada di tangan elo. The future is actually in your hand!!

Happy new year (again), happy new future!
Stay positive, keep the faith

Jan 2008

31, a fighting episode

It was a year ago when my youngest sister, Noengnoeng (this
our fav nickname for her), surprised me with a banner in the house, said “Happy
birthday the 30^th , sister!”. She then interviewed me like a professional journalist, gave me questions
like: how does it feel being thirty? What is your plan ahead? What about your love story? Are you going to
marry a bule, because I want to have a mixed nephew? When are you going to get
married? ….and more funny questions

December…

I always love December. Not just because it is my birthday month. The air is so much fresh (or maybe just for
me?), I love when it rains (regret when it goes into disasters lately..), I used to take a
deeeeeeeep breath most of the days in December….hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, fresh! It has
some spirit and excitement for a coming new year. And a flower named Bunga Desember that my mom
planted, used to have its full blossom on December. This is also a month where I found my first
love. Another reason, is its fun holiday, yeah!!

I love December!!

December 2006…

I walked across big trees at the University of Indonesia. It was a nice Saturday afternoon. The air felt so clean and the leaf danced
cheerfully upper your head. But my mind
was messed up with work. There was a
list of never-ending work, not to mention an overwhelmed confusing situation at
work. Sometimes, my mind went to my holiday trip to Jogjakarta on November that has turned into a
revolutionary holiday for my relation with a very special friend, another
confusing thing…

My new-year breakthrough was “never get too much busy
anymore”

My walks through 31..

I surprised my self that I have completed the never-ending
work, phewww…..

I fought for school (it was a real fight because the work
and pressure were too much) and got accepted!

I had a revolution for my work vision and felt so grateful
about it.

I had new friends that I cheered.

I found my self stop pretending about love, to appreciate
the time as we lost it forever everyday, to fight, fight, and fight, without
rush!!

Looking back at 2006,

I finally had sometime free for my self

sometime to think and look around me

sometime to value my self

sometime to “RESTART” my plan ahead

My walks to 31,

is not an easy year

is full of challenges

has so MUCH to learn from

It has been indeed a fighting episode, and…

Now that I am 31,

Still the same me but getting older,

Grateful to have my family and friends are healthy and doing well,

and…

I only have 9 years to go before 40! (urrggh, the only thing
I hate about time :-p)

For all of you,

HAPPY holidays and HAPPY new year!!

Go get your future!!!

Dec 2007

Losing someone forever

Have you ever lost someone in your life forever? Do you know how it feels?

For me, it is like losing part of your soul. You have to work very hard to wake up, get
the strength back, to face the reality, and move on. Life is really tough when you have to lose
someone forever.

When I have to lose my mom forever, I know I will miss her
voice. Her touch. Her smile. Her laugh. Sound of her
sandals. Her existence.  It seems like a long time ago when you tried
hard to remember the smell of her body or her voice.

I always think I am okay with her passed-away. I tell my self that we just live in a
different kind of world. I have her
blood in my body. She will always be
part of me then. And so I believe, we’ll
be together again, one day.

But what happen when you realize that you will lose someone
again?

It’s never been easy.

I don’t think I will be ever ready to lose someone again
forever.

When I see my father sleeps like a baby, I whisper one wish
to heaven, just don’t take him away for now…

Although, I know farewell is part of life. Can’t run from it.

Cant’ run from loving somebody so much, and can’t run when
you have to lose him/her.

I told my self recently, how precious the time that I can still
spend with family, and beloved friends. How priceless the time that I can still spends with my father.

Too bad, as we all know, life is not easy.

So often before we realize, we lose one day, everyday in our
life… Time flies…

I come home late almost everyday, which only give me a small
amount of time to talk with him in the morning.

I’ve been busy, and mostly because of my work. Too bad we all need money.  Though I like working, I hate it while it
stops me to spend more time with him and my beloved ones. Sometimes I just don’t want to care about
money. Time is more precious than
money. I just want to spend more time
with him, my fam, and friends… Regarding
the choices in life, I just hope the
options will not get too narrow into “money” or “time”…

Although I’ve been working in social development, still
during the work-hour, I look through window and wonder: How
come life is just gone by with nothing but works? How could you appreciate life then?

I like walking in the morning, on the way to office
place. Greeting the trees and morning
cloud (Jakarta is always cloudy, isn’t it  :-p).  Every morning, I always hope to be able to feel the day. I
want to feel it, before it’s gone to next day.

                           
Especially when it comes to Ramadhan, I want to “breathe”
it. Ramadhan is not about a spectacular
experience. It is simply about
togetherness, either with your beloved ones, or privately with your God. The togetherness that you feel in your smile,
and grateful in your heart. A moment
that does not come every day in your life. It comes either through Ramadhan, Christmas, or even simple occasion.

A moment that is not too long for such a happiness. A moment that when you all laugh, you know
you will miss it one day. A moment that
will only stay in your heart, even until you die. A story of just ordinary people.

Life…

Let it flow without losing it.

Miss you always,

k.

Moving on

And now, the end is near,
and so I face the final curtain.
My friend, I’ll say it clear,
I’ll state my case,
of which I am certain.

Akhirnya, sampe juga ke titik ini.  Hampir gak percaya bahwa setelah hampir
tujuh tahun, gue akan melangkah pergi.  Dan setelah hampir selama itu,
rasanya gak ada tempat belajar yang terbaik selain di sini.  Tapi
bagaimanapun, dunia harus terus berputar, dan sekarang sudah saatnya gue "memberi"
yang lain untuk tempat ini.

Regrets, I’ve had a few,
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
and saw it through without exemption

Dar tempat ini, cara gue ngeliat hidup berubah.  Dari tempat ini gue sadar
lebih nyata, bahwa gue bukan siapa-siapa.  Dari tempat ini gue benci
setengah mampus kesombongan, dan berdoa supaya gue gak akan pernah sombong. Dari tempat ini, gue mendapatkan teman-teman
terbaik.

And as I am leaving…
My wings are ready although my heart will stay forever.

I planned each charted course,
each careful step a long the by way
but more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

July 2007.